This image sets the mood for a time in my life when things were spiraling, at that time I had no idea just how bad things would become. In January of 2011 we were off to watch my Niece play hockey, she had a game at Kent State main campus ice arena. The day was bitter cold, the air was crisp and sharp. My breath formed little crystals that hung in the air, frozen. We were hoping my Dad would come with us, not only were we going to her game but also going out to eat afterward celebrating both my Niece and my Brother’s birthday. It was bittersweet I was excited to see her play and sad that Dad was missing this opportunity. Dad would not come- not because he didn’t want to, or wasn’t able to but for other reasons. I had been watching him become entwined and entangled in a dangerously controlling relationship. Now I loved my Dad with all my heart and I was very happy when he met what seemed to be a nice person and a good companion. Then slowly there were signs that crept in, hiding in the grey shadows, things that were warning signs. I had the utmost respect for my father, and had no business telling him how to live his life so I didn’t. I watched and I listened, staying as close as I could. I constantly checked on him. I continued to invite him to dinner and any other family functions. The one odd thing I noticed was that he would get anxious if he had to leave and couldn’t communicate with her on the phone. He would make sure he was in the house at certain times, never letting her know if he left the house after dark. They remained in their own homes, at my Father’s insistance. According to her she had buried 4 husbands before she met him this was shocking for someone who was only 66 years old. She had anxiety if she didn’t know what he was doing every minute of the day, she would talk to him for hours on the phone. Anyhow this became more and more obsessive. My youngest daughter ended up moving in with him, he was very kind and this was helpful more helpful then we could ever have known at the time. One day Dad got sick and my Daughter called me and said “Mom something is very wrong with Grandpa and she is trying to get him in the car and take him back to her house before you can get here” I immediately went over and he was sick, I am a paramedic I knew when I saw him, he was very sick. I called 911 and she quickly left before they would get there. He would have died that day if she would have taken him to her house. As he was hospitalized then home then back in the hospital again The women disappeared. She stopped seeing him stopped talking to him. She came to the calling hours when he passed and left quickly. I did nothing to keep them apart but she disappeared on her own into the shadows.
This is a true story. It is the condensed version. I struggled with the decision to share it. I have intentionally left out specific names.
I could say photographer, but I am a collector of minutes in time, visual memories.